Andorians
Not Mandalorians
I started an ‘internet project’, an experiment. My friend Anthony was a really big Star Wars Guy. But he’d never seen Star Trek.
Our gaps between meetings can last a couple of years (pandemic, AMIRIGHT?), but also, old man problems.
Following up after a long time, I asked him, Hey man, did you ever watch Star Trek?
“Yup”
Cool, what did you do, watch the new movies?
“All of it”
What?
“I watched all of it”.
Here’s an article on CBR about this phenomenon. I'm not going to bore you with runtime hours, but the hours add up now with Disco, SNW, Picard, and Lower Decks. It’s a lot. Will we be forced to double-dumb-ass suffer with the latest Paramount layoffs? I hope not. Save Trek, CBS.
I liked this challenge, and I’m currently on somewhat of a divergent timeline myself. In 2017, I started using #trekkinthroughtrek on Instagram. I’m not sure if the algorithm works the same way anymore, and maybe I used #trekkingthroughtrek (with the “G”) for some posts, but it looks like I started this in September of that year.
Sure, I have SEEN all of Star Trek. I mean—I must have. I used to go home early to watch TNG at 11 PM instead of hanging out on a converted school bus when I was home for the summer in college. This was after I had seen an episode of TOS at 7 PM after dinner at home.
What lessons can be learned from watching a franchise from the beginning, and why am I taking so long to do it? I guess it’s like my other pop culture goal to own all of the Marvel G.I. Joe issues. That project has its own set of Stoic rules. No eBay or Facebook Groups, just at Cons and Stores and IRL trade. I want to do this, but I never want that to end. That journey started on February 10, 1986 (a comic from a grab bag at my cousin’s birthday party).
Let’s just say … I’m in no rush.
I also use #trekkinthroughtreksupplemental for the occasional rewatch of a TOS episode or some sidetrack episode rewatch. Will I obsessively check on these hashtags, clean them up, and fill in the gaps if I missed one? I don’t think so (see above, my G.I. Joe collection).
I’m shocked, appalled, and disgusted with my partner, Stacey, right now. So much so that I just left the apartment door and slammed it behind me. The “I’m All Right” song from Caddyshack was playing on her Peloton. So, naturally, as one does, I came in doing the ‘gopher dance’ and made the dumb joke we always make. “Hey, Babe, do you know what Caddyshack is?”. It’s the joke we make daily, one of those inside-the-beltway references like “Do you even know who Baby Yoda is?” “Have you ever seen The Fifth Element (her favorite movie)?” and “Do you know who Spock is”? You get it. That kind of thing. But turn this plane around - she ACTUALLY has never seen Caddyshack! I just don’t even know if I have it in me to make her dinner tonight!
I kid, I kid. There are plenty of classics or must-watches I haven’t seen. Like Stranger Things. I know I’d probably like it. Or Game of Thrones. I’ve seen a few seasons of it. Or The Room. Something about that screams that I ‘would have’ seen it. Who can keep up? And can I show her Caddyshack in 2024? In this economy? Can you go back home again? Will she like it? Will she mockingly slam the apartment door on ME after we watch it? Introducing someone to Grande Oaks Country Club seems pretty daunting, not gonna lie.
Back to Trek. My attempt to watch “All of It” has me stuck in the middle of TNG season 1. TOS - check. TAS - check. And after I make my way through these Picard and Riker adventures, many hours of VOY, DS9…ENT await. Sometimes I’ll watch an episode and listen to a podcast about it. These are two good ones - GREATEST TREK, RANDOM TREK. I love it, don’t get me wrong but I got stuck sometime in the Gamma Quadrant.
During the pandemic, we started our new podcast format with Kirk/Spock/Bones movies to kill time at home behind the mic. Apparently (unbeknownst to me then), except for GENERATIONS, TNG lore is verboten in LeaguePodcast land. That’s..fine. I’ve also seen all new Paramount+ Episodes of the aforementioned. It’s not like I don’t get my regular antimatter fix.
Easier than introducing a classic 80s comedy to Stacey was the idea of watching ENT with her. She’d never seen it (not many have!) and her obsession with Quantum Leap made it a natural choice. She may love Scott Bakula (Captain Archer) ALMOST as much as I love T’Pol (Jolene Blalock). I lived with friends in the early oughts and even splurged to get a cable box in my room. That’s when I saw ENT for the first time. Great show. Bad theme song. Now I’m #trekkinthroughtrek (but out of penance, not recording this viewing on Instagram - you’ll remember I’m still in Season 1 of TNG). So, in a few years, I’ll get to visit the NX-01 once again (twist my Vulcan arm).
After all this Trekkin’ around, I must land on one of my favorite aliens, the Andorians. The first appearance is "Journey to Babel" Star Trek: TOS (1967). What’s not to like? Blue skin. Antennae. Devious motivations. Founding members of The Federation. Sort of forgotten, like the great Star Trek: Enterprise series itself. It’s been a long road for these smurfy Cuddle Bugs. Trek on the Tube does the hard work here.
But I wanted to get to how they made their antennae move in a sort of proto-CGI day. Practical effects of course! I searched, and the internet provided how the antennae moved on ENT. Famous for playing many Star Trek roles through the years, actor Jeffrey Combs had multiple layers of blue, and a cap hiding the mechanical remote control devices under that gray wig. Jeff Lewis was the artist and you can get into it at the Wayback Machine. And hear from Combs here.
There is actually an extra step with the Andorians. The first thing you have to do is go in and have this little flat contoured plate kind of thing with the wiring for the antennae put on your head first. Then you go have make-up done to a particular point and then you go back and have the wig placed on and then you go back to get the final touches on the makeup. It’s about a two and a half hour process to get into Shran.
There you have it folks, a Star Trek post you didn’t ask for. The Andorians are given some daylight in ENT and moved from background aliens (or Orion spies!) to an important chess piece in the canon, Trek.
Who knows what aliens or late-night rants I may unleash upon your inbox next?
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