Return To Zero
don't add on weight that you can't handle
It’s the time of year again. To turn to another year on the calendar leaf.
There is no year-end review podcast for me this year. Everything has been a bit much. The best advice I’ve gotten recently, during a complete meltdown, was to do what I can handle and to stop.
Here’s my year-end relationship with Zero. Not my now retired punk and roll band Wild Zero. I speak of the number. Naught. Nil. Null. Blank. 0.
Let’s get some practical work/GTD advice out of the way. If you are finding some time and want to work by not really working, get your Inbox to Zero by January 1st. People are checked-out for the year by now. My old company did a security wipe of all emails at the end of the year. I now do the same. (My definition of Inbox Zero is not the actual Zero number (more like <100, as I have pending shows as early as January 5th and other things cooking, but on top of my weekly review, I am starting 2024 at Zero). I’ll delete old deals, file them away, and consider closing off some opportunities that sounded like a great idea in the Summer, but nothing has happened by now. That’s a Zero. Bye.
This has been a rough year, 2023. It's rougher than most for me. My Dad’s hospitalization, being laid off, staring into the abyss of doom-scrolling and self-doubt, and getting back onto my bike to deliver food. Considering my options to make ends meet with a bridge job and what that could even look like. I took one. I don’t hate it. I don’t love it. That’s a net Zero.
I’m blessed one thousand times over with health, blessings, and people who love, support, and still employ me. A place to live. Nice things, nice TV, fun podcasting projects. The bridge is temporary, but to me, temporary means at least 6 months of it: the good, the bad, the Zero of it all. I’ve had to reconsider my spending and memberships. This includes the gym (though my YMCA has hardship assistance I may be taking advantage of).
Ramen and PB&J sandwiches replace pizza and burgers for lunch. Carefree days of grabbing whatever I want for lunch are behind me, at least temporarily. I still can afford to eat. It’s just reliving my college days. The plus and minus ones here. Net Zero.
I tend to internalize my negative self-talk, but therapy and 988 Crisis Hotline (smartly dropping the “Suicide” from the branding here, replacing it with ‘Crisis’) have helped me with the Crisis of Infinite Clays, a multiverse of doom, Everything Everywhere All at Once. At my lowest of lows, I’m buoyed. Frankly, I am OK. Stacey assures me this rough patch (since being laid off) is temporary. I have a job, so the minus, once again, plus one is Zero.
One day, I had a significant interaction at CVS with someone working the aisle there. I had my delivery bag on, but I was not working; it’s just a big bag for me to carry lots of stuff: microphones, artist hospitality shops, my podcasting Mac mini.
“Appreciate the hustle, man…”
I replied, “Yeah, doing this to get a couple of extra bucks…”
“Some money… is better than no money.”
I keep thinking about what he said and how brilliant it is. It just hit.
I’m not much of a complainer; I'm more of a brooder. I took this picture months ago, knowing I had a seed of an idea to write this post someday. My litany of gym complaints is legion, but I ruminate on this one.
There is a sound engineer courtesy related to Zero. It leaves the next engineer with a desk where all the knobs are returned to the Zero position. Let the next person make their own mixing decisions on the day, not try to understand what you were thinking about the night before. It is a common practice, but technological advances might make the point moot. Likely some knobs or pots remain at their position on the master part of the board, but I hope you can appreciate the concept.
On some of the gear at any typical gym are incremental weight adjustment knobs like the one pictured above. Usually, the main plates are at 10-pound increments, so this lets you add 5 more pounds without adding more plates. Typically, the numbers are “0”, “5”, “10”, and “15”. The 10 bugs me because why not just add a plate? But people have reasons. And gym routines are certainly not a subject I would ever even think of asking an expert about. They can have their reasons and, by golly, keep those opinions to themselves!
I know I am not a complainer, but something that bugs me is when this knob is not returned to Zero when the last person is done, and I get there. This is such small thinking and irrational behavior on my part, but here I am complaining! I should be happy they wiped the machine down and are not sitting in it currently. That should be my baseline.
I always return to Zero.
Is this a sign of undiagnosed ADHD? Probably.
After being in crisis, two people’s advice carried me through.
Let go of things you can’t handle. It’s not a big deal.
The next was a compliment I am too shy to repeat, and to do so would be a hint at boastfulness, with really no way of saying humbly. So I’ll skip that, but I will continue to return to Zero.
Currently, I can’t take on another 15 pounds, 10 pounds, or even a measly 5 pounds. I’m not adding anything additional I can’t handle.
I return to Zero.
Self-doubting freelancers, check out my recent post below.
