Star Trek: Section 31 Is Not A Good Movie

A new Star Trek movie you can't even go to the movies to see

My long-suffering podcast co-hosts will attest, and the name of my Substack is “I Think This Is Great!” I tend to give most creative endeavors the benefit of the doubt.

The link above is to all of our Kirk-Spock-Bones Star Trek episodes. My co-hosts (with whom I respectfully disagree) consider that the core of Star Trek, and thus, TNG-era movies aren't worth covering on our show (Star Trek Generations bridging the gap! Small victory!). And I get it. The TNG/VOY/ENT/DS9 episodes were vital to ME growing up, but besides my initial surprise at their response, it settled in. We’ve all been friends since high school, and even in that long time (a long time), there’ve been vast swaths of time where we weren’t speaking with each other or hanging out. Only a fateful New York Comic Con iFanboy afterparty brought us back to a baseline of being ‘Tight Bros from Way Back When.’

As older (elder?) mature adults, we’ve gotten very close and know more about our early lives than when we saw each other nearly daily! Teenagers aren’t great at sharing their inner thoughts and fears, but middle-aged men are good at reflecting on high school. Forever grateful!

What “The Gents” didn’t know was that in a pocket universe of time in high school, I was hanging out with a different bridge crew for a time. My parents had dinner every night, and then I could go out and hang out with my friends. Now that I think of it, this must have been the summertime.

My schedule involved having dinner with the family, watching Star Trek: TOS at 7 pm, and then going home to catch Star Trek: TNG at 11 pm. It felt pretty grounding, and I never stayed out too late. The hours between 8 and 11 were filled with hanging out on a half-converted school bus, listening to punk rock tunes, drinking beer, and plotting against Big Brother.

So, naturally, the boys who lived across the street from each other didn't share my experience of religiously watching TNG and falling in love with its characters. I wrongly assumed that they had the same feelings that “Star Trek is Star Trek” that I did. And I at least knew that when I joined them on our podcast in 2009, we were all equally excited to see the JJ Abrams Universe, aka the Kelvin Universe, unfold. In JJ, we trust and all that. We didn’t explicitly cover movies (at least not as much as we do now) back then, but the common ground was there, and “TNG” didn’t even come up in conversation so much!

I am still “Trekking Through Trek,” a project that involves watching ALL OF STAR TREK. I’m still stuck in my TNG rewatch, but I slow-walk it like my completionist G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero collection because I never want it to end.

I certainly didn’t expect the boys to be on board with the Paramount+ Star Trek, and they may enjoy Strange New Worlds if given a chance, but I was on board for Star Trek: Discovery. I bought t-shirts and ships, and I still think that the first couple of seasons were decent. It lost the thread by the end of the series, which we hate-watched until it wasn’t even an option anymore since the series was canceled. Again, completionist, but also the decisions made by the writers baffled me. I’m OK with different-looking Klingons and even a big-time jump, but when Disco went into the future, it didn’t excite me (or us, as I watched with Stacey all the way through). They did have some significant spin-offs, some mini-movies in the form of Short Treks that tended to be funny. They had great guest stars like Rainn Wilson as Harry Mudd and H. Jon Benjamin as a buffoon that unleashed the Tribble problem onto the galaxy, but other than that, the last 3 seasons were mostly a slog. The series was canceled after 5 seasons, and, thanks to Star Trek: Lower Decks (a great and funny animated series that is way more than ‘Rick and Morty’ for Star Trek), Disco has been relegated to non-canon or an alternate universe story. Praise Kahless!

I’d challenge the reader and The Gents to give Lower Decks a shot. While it is in the TNG timeline, it is reverential to Trek, including easter eggs from the movies and TOS. It’s funny to watch regardless; you don’t need to know Trek to fall in love with it. This series ended on a high note after 5 five seasons, whereas Disco ended like a tricorder low on battery.

Star Trek: Discovery, the first 3 seasons had some compelling stories! The series featured an alternate version of the Klingons, and even ventured into the Mirror, Mirror universe. The cast boasted a talented ensemble, including Wilson Cruz, Anthony Rapp, Sonequa Martin-Green (Spock's sister?), and Mary Wiseman. They were joined by renowned actors like Michelle Yeoh (Tomorrow Never Dies, Everything Everywhere All at Once [Academy Award for Best Actress], Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), Jason Isaacs (The Death of Stalin, Harry Potter, The Patriot), and Doug Jones (check out our Vampire Council podcast episodes!). Later seasons even featured stars like Anson Mount (Captain Christopher Pike), Ethan Peck (Spock), James Frain (Sarek), and Tig Notaro.

The series ran for 65 episodes, and while many were enjoyable, the quality declined significantly towards the end. Do I regret watching them? Not at all. My inner completionist demanded to see how it wrapped up. In 2025, they released what I predict will be the final chapter of this saga: Star Trek: Section 31. This Star Trek movie—available only on Paramount+—felt like a modified TV show (originally intended as a series) stretched to movie length. It's shot like a TV show, looks like a TV show, uses the familiar Paramount Star Trek bridge sets, and, frankly, is a TV show. Which is…fine. But reducing a Star Trek movie to a "Made-For-TV-Movie" feels like a disservice. What is this, Star Wars? Great Bird of the Galaxy!

Michelle Yeoh reprises her Mirror Universe Emperor Philippa Georgiou role, leading a rag-tag group within the super-secret Federation organization, Section 31. (Prime Universe Captain Georgiou, you'll recall, was killed at the Battle of the Binary Stars in Discovery.) For reasons not worth delving into here, the Terran Georgiou survives and runs a space station at the start of this movie. Section 31 was initially planned as a Discovery spin-off series, but pandemic delays and Yeoh's subsequent Academy Award win led to a change of plans. The result? This.

“What a stink bomb!” — John Siuntres, Word Balloon Podcast

Ira Steven Behr created Section 31 for the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode "Inquisition." Behr was inspired by a line from an earlier DS9 episode, "The Maquis," where Commander Sisko says, "It's easy to be a saint in paradise." This sparked Behr's interest in exploring the darker aspects of a seemingly utopian society, questioning what might be happening behind the scenes to maintain that peace. He envisioned Section 31 as the organization responsible for "doing the nasty stuff" that no one wanted to think about, ensuring the Federation's continued existence, even if it meant compromising its ideals. The name "Section 31" is derived from a fictional article in the Starfleet Charter, which agents claim allows for extreme measures in times of dire threat.

Section 31 has appeared in the Star Trek series Deep Space Nine, Enterprise, Discovery, Lower Decks, and Picard, as well as the more recent film Star Trek Into Darkness.

A secret, Starfleet black ops organization? Sounds pretty cool. But capitalizing on that coolness by casting an Academy Award-winning martial arts superstar in this venture resulted in literal slop. The best I can say is that this movie is only slightly better than the last few seasons of Discovery—and that's not saying much. Smartly, the film avoids giving Section 31 a backstory, preserving the mystery. Even so, it drains all the coolness from the concept with a lackluster product and mostly forgettable, new ensemble characters. Couldn't they have included Tilly? Or anyone else we actually care about?

Let’s talk about the cast. I was happy for Sam Richardson (The Detroiters, Veep), as Quasi, to be getting some work and to have worked his way into the Star Trek canon. But his wry humor doesn’t fit the character, isn’t capitalized on in any way, and he’s underused as an actor. Like Cavill’s Superman, underserved by material, Sam doesn’t get to do what he does best and is known for. It's not his fault, and I genuinely am glad to see him getting work on my screen. I want him to have all of the paychecks. I hope this one didn’t bounce or affect his ability to land roles in the future!

Omari Hardwick plays Alok Sahar, a co-lead in the ensemble team, but his character has an entirely forgettable backstory and doesn't contribute much. Robert Kazinsky portrays Zeph, an enhanced human/cyborg jock who is universally disliked by the team. Kacey Rohl is Rachel Garrett, a Starfleet Lieutenant and the only legitimate Starfleet member on the team. She was fine, but the dialogue was universally terrible. Someone even calls Georgiou a "bad bitch"—as John Oliver would say, "Cool."

Where are the Vulcans, the Klingons, and The Andorians? Well, we sort of get a Vulcan. Sven Ruygrok plays 'Vulcan' Fuzz, who, predictably, everyone on the team finds insufferable. But he's not actually a Vulcan. Despite the pointy ears, he's a microscopic organism piloting a Vulcan robot body. O…K…? (Spoiler alert: The microscopic organism is one of the bad guys. You're welcome.)

He’s also a Vulcan with an Irish accent. Good luck, UT!

James Hiroyuki Liao plays San, Georgiou's former lover and a Terran villain. The flashbacks to Young Georgiou and Young San were one of the few enjoyable aspects of the film. This previously unknown backstory added depth and even a touch of humanity to the otherwise unredeemable Terran Georgiou. Before she assumes the mantle of Emperor (a position she earns by killing her entire family as a final test), San, her lover and the "runner-up" in this grim competition (he refused to subject his family to the same fate), scars him with a hot sword. He's then forced to be her slave. Talk about a relationship dynamic shift! Unsurprisingly, his "loyalty" is a thin pretense for his constant plotting of revenge—as one might expect from a Terran.

While I’m talking about what I liked about the movie (a stretch to say I Think This is Great!, though), I will say that Michelle Yeoh’s Georgiou is a highlight—glamorous, fantastic, and, at 62, still kicking ass with style. She is, as the movie puts it, “a bad bitch.” Her portrayal of an evil Terran (sans goatee) is delightfully sinister, and her action scenes were some of the best in the film. Every time she was on screen, I perked up—except for one fight scene marred by a bad CGI glitch. The ‘phasing’ effect, done with a Phase Pod, felt unnecessary and distracting, making the first major fight sequence harder to enjoy. Unlike the MCU’s Ghost (Ant-Man and the Wasp, Thunderbolts), where phasing is seamlessly integrated into the action, this felt clunky and conceptually unclear. I mean, sure, why not? But also, why?

Oh, and I guess I lied about Andorians ‘who be fuckin’—because Georgiou and the Ghost-clone crash straight through their hotel suite in her space station. Coitus Interruptus, indeed.

In one amusing moment, Georgiou is about to snatch the McGuffin superweapon, the Godsend, in a hallway, only to find it agonizingly out of reach—her ankle is mysteriously snagged on the wall. She fixes her malfunctioning phase device with a swift, Fonzie-esque slap, but not before the bad guy makes off with the Godsend. And don't worry, that's not the only instance of Georgiou channeling her inner Fonz in this movie!

On Stardate 1292.4, the Section 31 crew assembles in a Fifth Element-esque bar on Georgiou's Baraam station (which, being outside Federation territory, is why this crack team is needed). The scene has a definite Fifth Element meets Canto Bight vibe. They manage to recruit Georgiou through a combination of deception and fisticuffs. Their mission: retrieve a dangerous new black box weapon within 24 hours, and they need Georgiou's help. As a nod to TOS, a Cheron waiter with his signature black and white face can be spotted on the station. Alok convinces Georgiou to join Section 31 for this one last mission. The team and their "powers" are then introduced in a montage that feels like something you'd see on prime-time TV. Adding to the Fifth Element atmosphere, a singer performs on stage, sporting a costume reminiscent of that film's characters, complete with Princess Leia-style "cinnabuns" hairstyle.

Section 31's Melle (Humberly González), who looked like she'd merged with V'Ger, gets disintegrated by San in a fight. These Alpha Team members are so forgettable, it's easy to see how Melle escaped my memory.

The weapon leads them to Dada Noe (Joe Pingue, practically buried under facial accessories), who's revealed to be San's annoying conspirator. (Spoiler, I suppose, but the stakes are pretty low here.)

The chase continues, with Dada Noe in tow. Explosions happen, a countdown ensues, and suddenly, it's garbage barge time. Because, of course, the only functioning ship on this planet is a garbage scow. Star Wars: Skeleton Crew did it better, by the way.

More fight scenes ensue, including what I suppose was meant to be a "train fight"—you know, the kind where people brawl on a moving vehicle, like the one in Star Trek: Into Darkness. At least they're consistent in their, shall we say, "inspiration." Fuzz then escapes on a garbage skiff/escape pod contraption, prompting Section 31 to give chase. Unfortunately, as with the earlier Phase Pod scene, the special effects are incredibly distracting. The action is obscured by poor visibility and excessive background noise, making it difficult to watch. Michelle Yeoh's fighting, which deserves an A++, is again undermined by subpar CGI.

Let's briefly discuss the McGuffin: the Godsend. This Terran weapon is capable of incinerating an entire quadrant of planets. Not bad. It can only be activated by Georgiou's DNA, which is ironic, considering she not only commissioned this planet-killer but also ordered its destruction. Dada Noe, we learn, made his way to the Prime Universe from the Terran Empire when two ion clouds created a portal. The specifics of Discovery's Mirror Universe plot are lost to me, probably for the best. I'm sure it made sense at the time...sort of.

Dada Noe's plan is to sell the Godsend back to the Terrans, but, surprise, they've already swiped it. Then…stuff happens. There's a big final fight with the Ghost-clone (because of course there is). Explosions abound. Meanwhile, Quasi, with Garrett's help, manages to decipher the incredibly complex controls of the garbage barge. In a particularly bizarre turn of events, Garrett finds herself trapped in the garbage masher and discovers a toy reminiscent of something from Doctor Who, which she then ingeniously repurposes into a bomb.

At some point, Fuzz convinces Zeph to commit suicide and frame Garrett—a truly bizarre twist. Good riddance to that insufferable jock. The climax features a big battle: Fuzz against Alok, and Georgiou against San, who, in a predictable (or not) reveal, turns out to be the Ghost character.

Georgiou and San share a final, end-of-life (San's) reconciliation, where he realizes he made a mistake and was, all along, loyal to his Emperor…something something something…flashback to Young Georgiou and San's bad romance.

And scene. The remnants of the Section 31 crew gather for a post-mission debrief back on Georgiou's space station. A new Fuzz arrives (a reminder that he's an android), now controlled by his ex-wife (?), and joins the team. Sadly, there's no Ilia-like replacement for Melle; she remains definitively deceased. She remains a dead parrot.

Oscar winner Jamie Lee Curtis (of Everything Everywhere All at Once) makes a surprise cameo as Control, the leader of Section 31, appearing ala the Emperor (Star Wars, not Terran) on a glitchy hologram to deliver a new mission. I sincerely hope we never see the execution of this new mission. The film's dismal Rotten Tomatoes scores (20% critics, 16% audience) suggest we're probably safe. This one, Star Trek fans, ain’t it.

So, you're a Star Trek completionist, are you? Naughty, naughty. You know you want this, you little scamp. See if you can handle it in one sitting. Stacey and I only lasted an hour before she…submitted to sleep. We finished it off the next night. My final bridge announcement? “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

Perhaps the marketing and artwork should have tipped me off: this would be a misstep of epic proportions. It is officially the 14th Star Trek movie. As any Trek fan knows (or has conveniently forgotten), the popular theory is that even-numbered Star Trek films are generally "good," while odd-numbered ones are "bad." This "rule" hasn't held up exceptionally well in the JJ Abrams era, and Section 31 throws a wrench into the Jefferies tube yet again. Star Trek (2009) started strong at #11; Into Darkness was okay at #12; Beyond was quite good at #13; and now Section 31 is just plain bad at #14. Or is it? Perhaps Section 31 is the start of a new horrible timeline—a timeline of made-for-TV Star Trek "movies," making it #1 in a whole new (bad) way? Frankly, this movie makes me question everything. Maybe it's time just to shut it all down and let Tarantino take a crack at it, for Chrissakes.

With great sensitivity of our friends in CA now, I wouldn't be heartbroken if a similar blaze erupted on the Paramount set, much like it did during the filming of Star Trek III: The Search for Spock. And this time, let's hope Shatner's phone line is busy. Those bridge sets? They can burn. Paramount, shut it down. Or, better yet, greenlight the fourth Kelvin timeline film. Watching those actors age alongside their characters (RIP Anton Yelchin) would be a blast, just like we did with the original crew.

Paramount, give us a real Star Trek! Glory to you and your house! Respect the legacy. And bring back Lower Decks for another season, you know you want to.